The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF NARCISSISM

by Antonio C. Antonio

November 10, 2014

Sandy Hotchkiss have been a licensed therapist in Southern California, USA in the last 30 years and authored a very popular self-help book on narcissism.  At present, Hotchkiss is a member of the faculty of a psychoanalytic institute where she lectures on her favourite topic: “The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism”.  These are (http://www.news-medical.net/health/Seven-Deadly-Sins-of-Narcissism.aspx):

1.     SHAMELESSNESS:  Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.

2.     MAGICAL THINKING:  Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking.  They also use projection to dump shame unto others.

3.     ARROGANCE:  A narcissist who is feeling deflated may re-inflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.

4.     ENVY:  A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.

5.     ENTITLEMENT:  Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favourable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special.  Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an awkward or difficult person.  Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.

6.     EXPLOITATION:  Exploitation can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests.  Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible.  Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.

7.     BAD BOUNDARIES:  Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves.  Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all.  Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations.  In the mind of a narcissist, there are no boundary between self and other.

Narcissism is defined as: (1) An excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance; (2) In Psychology:  An extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type; and, (3) In Psychoanalysis: Self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.  With these definitions, it would be easy to assume that narcissism is a condition that may lead to a serious kind of “mental disorder”.  Awareness, therefore, on this matter and concern must be spread especially among netizens who are said to be, in lesser or greater degrees, guilty of narcissism.  Guilty or not, it will also be a healthy exercise to be aware of the seven deadly sins of narcissism.

Just my little thoughts…

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